Wednesday, 30 May 2012

The Worst Ever Diamond Jubilee Souvenir

By and large, the tat magnet that is the 60th anniversary of our beloved Queen hasn't actually turned out that much awful memorabilia. True. I have seen more bunting and patriotic flags than I did around the Royal Wedding, but I honestly thought we'd be able to get through this difficult time for merchandising relatively unscathed.

And then my colleague sent me a link to this corgi statue which costs TWO THOUSAND POUNDS.


Oh, my bad - it's actually a very reasonable £1,953. Presumably the three pounds adds a halo and an Estonian maid to come and polish it every other Thursday. (UPDATE: in the comments, the artist's partner has pointed out that the price refers to the year of coronation. Thank God they didn't go for 2012.)

"Availability: low stock" says Selfridges. The idea of people actually buying this monstrosity - which comes in two other variations, illustrated for your viewing pleasure below - is too much to comprehend, so I can only hope that Selfridges bought one of each, and that is why the stock is low. Although actually, that would probably be Availability: very low stock. Oh sweet Jesus - what if they've bought two?
Sitting corgi statue
" This adorable Corgi statue is the must-have accessory for a truly royal celebration this Diamond Jubilee," says a copywriter who has never seen the six-pack of Queen masks that I saw in Dalston Tesco the other night.
"You may also like: Standing corgi statue." I do not like, no.
You know what is good though? This River Island Jubilee dress that Frances found. Or this cute mug from Sophie Allport. It costs £8.50. You could buy one for your entire street for the price of a corgi statue. But what do you think, dear readers? Am I being too mean? Or have you seen something worse?

29 comments:

  1. No you're completely right - it is horrendous!! x

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  2. You can also find very similar in most charity shop windows this week, I must confess I know a couple of people who will absolutely love them!

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  3. Is it a giant ceramic corgi? Are you paying by weight? Is it SIX FOOT TALL??

    I have the fear.

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    Replies
    1. If it was six feet tall, I'd want it so hard. It would scare the crap out of people.

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  4. @Hazel Amazing. Are they also the people who buy those souvenir china plates from catalogues? With kittens in knitted hats on?

    @last year's girl. It doesn't even specify! It could be the size of a freaking matchbox. But you can get it TODAY if you fork out £16 for it and live within the M25. #bargain

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  5. It's the kind of ornament that looks like it should have a wind up mechanism that plays God Save the Queen.

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  6. It's the kind of ornament that looks like it should have a wind up mechanism that plays God Save the Queen.

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  7. Oh God, I sort of *want* the begging Corgi. Look at it's adorable Corgi face. I think I might be pre-menstrual.

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    Replies
    1. I kind of like the begging corgi. I'd pay a fiver for him.

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  8. Important shopping update from my friend John:

    "Can confirm that Selfridges has only one of each (tried to buy 5 of each, then 4, then 3...) My basket cost £5859 w/o delivery. Completely terrified that I'd collapse onto the keyboard and input my details with my face."

    AMAZING.

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    Replies
    1. Thats the kind of research we approve of around here. *claps*

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  9. The second one does have more than just a hint of Basil Brush about him.

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  10. My partner actually sculpted all 3 corgis, and cast out nearly 100 of them! And they cost £1953 due to it being the year of the coronation

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comment, MrsTtobe. I think a lot of us are genuinely surprised by the price being in the thousands. Selfridge's don't tell us much about the item - how tall it is, how it was made and sculpted. We'd love to know more about that.

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    2. I think they're actually life size!! Bloody ugly if you ask me but then I hate corgi's!
      The originals were sculpted from clay, not sure what they were cast from, but they were all produced in Berkshire, I like to think they have hoighty toighty names like Cuthbert, or Neville

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    3. Just found out they are cast in Polyurethane Resin, which is a very, very hard rubber, but they don't bounce :/

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    4. Awww, totally wish they bounced!

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  11. I'm just glad I'm not paying £2012 for my new shoes. After all, that is the year they were made in...

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  12. If they wanted the cost to reflect the year of the coronation, they could have sold them for £19.53... Bit more reasonable for a ceramic dog!

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  13. Twenty-five quid plus postage:

    www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Charming-Corgi-Vintage-Coopercraft-Dog-Figurine-/120855144723

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    Replies
    1. So not far off £19.53, then.

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  14. I'm sure my Grandma used to have something like that. Actually, the one my Grandad has is possibly worse - it's blue!

    Amazing what is out there though. I came across this Jubilee themed card earlier. I actually think it's quite funny, but I'm not sure many would buy it. http://www.thedogsdoodahs.com/cards/Card-about-the-Queens-Jubilee.aspx

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  15. Pixie would approve if they were tri like her...
    https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/430583_108736089255371_100003569412942_27831_879666750_n.jpg

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  16. I'd buy these if they were 50p at a Car Boot Sale and put them in the garden to scare of next door's cat from doing their dirty business in the flower beds.

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  17. I actually sell this in Selfridges! We have only three, one in each pose. So far, they serve as a talking point (mainly the price tag) for customers, and a photo opportunity for tourists. I have yet to meet someone who wanted to buy one. Love, a Selfridges-based domestic slut :) x

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  18. my friend wants one. she is blind and has had both her hands and feet amputated so she cant feel anything. lol

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