Christmas is coming. I know, because I've seen a Coca-Cola advert with that big red shiny lorry on it. With one more payday until then, we must be clever sales shoppers. But let's just buy all this stuff for ourselves, yeah? Yeah.
|Oasis Rococo lace dress, £56 (was £80), ASOS|
STAR BUY! Sara's had her eye on this Rococo lace dress from the ASOS Oasis store since last month, and now it's reared its beautiful head in the sale. Now it's just £56, and we can all have a slice of Sara-style in our lives (in a completely non-creepy, non-slicing way).
|Lace back dress, £30 (was £65), Warehouse|
BEST OF THE REST: Sian wrote about this lace back dress from Warehouse a couple of months ago. Back then, she was concerned about throwing a cup of tea down her front and ruining it, and at £65, I can see why. But, hell, at £30 in the sale, you can wear it to make borscht. Or cheesy beet gratin. Or roasted beetroot. You get the picture, I think.
|A|Wear 40s peplum dress, £35 (was £50), ASOS|
I adore the colour and dragonfly print of this 40s peplum dress, and so does our Frances, who first featured it in her gorgeous 40s fashion round-up. I couldn't wear it, because that peplum would make me look like a ginormous orange lampshade (albeit a very stylish one). Pity, because I really do love this dress. Please don't tell me you've bought it, because I will be forced to ban you from reading all future Sluttery Sales Spy posts on account of your flagrant non-lampshadiness.
|Khabou dandy slipper in teal, £27.99 (was £60), Aldo|
STAR BUY! Well, this is a dandy slipper indeed. All those studs and pointy bits! I'd feel invincible in these, like a comic book heroine with dangerous feet. Watch out, baddies - Slipper Girl is here to save the world!
So, um, yes. They come in purple, red, and blue too.
|Bertie Maxene T-bar shoes, £40 (was £65), House of Fraser|
BEST OF THE REST: Leopard print in small doses is the only way I can wear it without resembling a budget lady of the night. These Bertie T-bar shoes are just the ticket, and won't make me look like Julie Goodyear (I am not implying that Julie is a lady of the night, by the way. The two are not connected. *Libel Action Face*)
|Firolber heels, £38.49 (was £80), Aldo|
It's a giant yes please from me for these Firolber heels from Aldo. Shimmery and wine-coloured? Phwoar. Good news for ladies of all footly sizes - this style is available from a 3 to a 9½, and every size was in stock when I checked this morning. Praise be to the Aldo shoe gods.
|Longheath fox ring, £14.50 (was £20), Aubin & Wills|
STAR BUY! Aubin & Wills like foxes almost as much as we do. This sleepy chap is also available in a very festive red rhinestone (yeehaw!) version, which will probably be adorning one of my Christmas fingers. (They're different to my everyday fingers. Sparklier, mainly, but also covered in mince pie sugar.)
|And Mary sewing kit charm necklace, £10 (was £18), ASOS|
BEST OF THE REST: Last weekend, I rehomed my sewing machine into its own bureau. I KNOW. A bureau. With mid-century vibes, no less. All kinds of craft geekery ensued, and finally my sewing and knitting stuff is neatly organised in what is now known as The Craft Bureau. I fully anticipate the rapid growth of The Craft Bureau into some kind of offshoot governmental organisation, possibly even a branch of MI6 (Yeah, I have just been to see the new James Bond film. What of it?).
What I need to complete my overall air of absolute OH THIS OLD THING I MADE IT ACTUALLY SMUG SMUG FACE prowess is this And Mary sewing kit charm necklace from ASOS. It does freak me out a little bit that the scissors are twice the size of the sewing machine, but I just keep reminding myself that it's a necklace. Not real life. I'd have lost an arm and possibly my entire head by now if scissors were really that big.
|Beetle necklace, £14.99 (was £22.99), Mango|
Gosh, I'd sort of forgotten about Mango, but I'm glad I remembered them in time to find this lovely little beetle necklace. He also comes in burgundy. I'm sorry, Mango. I won't forget you again. Don't set a swarm of killer beetles on me.
|IDEA International bird clock, £28 (was £36), Fab|
STAR BUY! Remember when we all had alarm clocks? In a few decades' time, as you sit by the virtual fire with the grandkids, you'll relive these last glory days of setting the clock before bed, and smashing it with a fist come morning. Then the little blighters will skip off to bed, and they'll merely have to think about what time they want to get up and their brains will be magically programmed to wake them. Let's make the most of alarm clocks while we can. DO NOT LET MOBILE PHONES TAKE OVER. They are the first slippery step towards all-out clock famine.
Ahem. What I mean to say is: look at the gorgeous bird alarm clock! It chirps you awake! You should buy it! You've only got three days to do that! The future depends on you.
|Walk in the Park plate, £10.50 (was £15.95), Emma Bridgewater Outlet|
BEST OF THE REST: I am not (GASP!) always the biggest fan of Emma Bridgewater's ceramics. Don't shoot me, please. I do, however, love this Walk in the Park design - and happily, it's turned up in her outlet store. Most of the stock is seconds, but that doesn't mean you'll end up with something chipped or broken - it just won't have passed the perfection test. Perfection is overrated, anyway - I like wonkiness. Be sure to check out the rest of the outlet store - all of Emma's most popular designs are there, and you'll save yourself a pretty packet.
|Ben de Lisi White Houses bedding set, £36-£54.40 (was £45-£60), Debenhams|
I'm quite taken by this White Houses bedding set. It's not my usual style at all, but there's something about the painterly blue sky and the touches of colour on the front doors that's making me all a-goggle. I also think this would be a nice compromise in a couple's bedroom, if you live with one of those men who likes to take an interest in interiors, but doesn't like big gaudy floral patterns. SIGH.
THE OLD HABITS DIE HARD AWARD FOR OVERPRICED MADNESS
|Bo Peep gravy boat, £329.95 (was £1,450), Anthropologie|
The first in an occasional series of Old Habits Die Hard Awards for Overpriced Madness this week, which I anticipate will almost certainly always be presented to that loveable old rogue, Anthropologie. Exhibit A is this gravy boat for £329.95. You think that's a batshit-crazy price to pay for a gravy boat? WAIT. It's marked down from £1,450. Do we think that's a typo? NO.
And then to add insult to poverty:
Decorative use only.
Little Bo Peep has lost more than her sheep. She's lost her bloody marbles.