Dudettes! It's sales round-up time again! I've been bargain hunting, and now I'm dragging you along for the ride. (Stop screaming, you at the back. Yes, you.)
|Hayth heels, £34.99 (was £75), Aldo|
STAR BUY! Aldo is having some mental-great Black Friday wotsit today, with an extra 30% off all their sale and clearance shoes. I'm swooning all over the place at these Hayth heels. Orange lace. Who knew I needed that in my life?
|Magic Multi flat, £15 (was £58), Office|
BEST OF THE REST: IT'S STILL HAPPENING! DOES IT EVER END? Yes, the Office sale is threatening to become such an integral part of our lives that if it ceases to be, some kind of natural disaster/national uprising/cholera outbreak may occur. FEED THE SALE, PEOPLE. It's our responsibility. Britain needs us. May I suggest these bonkers Magic Multi flats? Wear with something relatively sedate, unless you particularly want to look like a person who wouldn't know style if it came up in her soup.
|Marigold patent pump in mint, £10 (was £35), Office|
Clearly I'm enjoying a winter pastel right now. These Marigold pumps are A TENNER, and have a soupçon of Mary Quant about them, don't you think? (SIDENOTE: have you read her autobiography yet? You really should. Handily, I've reviewed it.)
|Cherub heels, £32.50 (was £65), Jones Bootmaker|
Can we clear something up? Did it used to be Jones THE Bootmaker? And now it's just Jones Bootmaker? Or have I spent 33 years adding an erroneous the? Is this a repeat of mispronouncing Palmolive as Palamovey? Or Kylie Minogue as Kylie Minohguew? Hypothetically speaking, you understand. Ahem.
Anyhoo - I'm quite taken by these Cherub heels from aforementioned Jones THE Bootmaker. They're a little bit Emo Grows Up/Lumberjack's Wife At A Wedding.
|Cat print fluffy cardigan, £20 (was £32), Dorothy Perkins|
STAR BUY! MIAOW! Pledge your allegiance to our feline friends in this cat print cardi from Dorothy Perkins. My Jewish seamstress roots mean I am duty-bound to point out that the pattern is very symmetrical. Isn't it, though? Lovely work. Whaddya mean they obviously chose the best one for the photograph? OH YE OF LITTLE FAITH. Look, here's some horses. They're symmetrical, too. Shush now.
|Oversize Sequin Cardi, £25 (was £55), Miss Selfridge|
BEST OF THE REST: It wouldn't be Sluttery Sales Spy without a healthy dose of Liberaceness. These oversized sequins - I believe we are supposed to call them paillettes (No, not pallets. We did them two weeks ago.) - would make my favourite ivory-tinkler proud. I admit that with the wrong styling, it could be a disaster. I have faith in you, Domestic Sluts. You'll know the right way to wear it.
|Liquorish geo cardigan, £35 (was £65), ASOS|
Oh, this looks festively snuggly. Just the thing I need to wear to watch the Christmas lights being switched on tonight! Pity it won't be here until Monday.
|Oasis dragonfly jacquard dress, £32.50 (was £65), ASOS|
STAR BUY! I love this Oasis dress. At first glance, it looks like a bog-standard black frock. On closer inspection, however, you'll spot a prettier-than-pretty dragonfly jacquard pattern. I'm all for secret insects on dresses. If you're a size 12, hurry and you'll get it in a gorgeous claret colour, too.
|NW3 maple pintuck dress, £39.20 (was £99), Hobbs|
BEST OF THE REST: Gosh, this is short. Stick the right legs in it, though, and it'll look amazing. I adore the scalloped edge, and the colour. If you can get away with this level of briefness, knock yourself out (Don't literally knock yourself out, please. I've already got the Julie Goodyear lawsuit to deal with).
|Darling polka dot and lace dress, £38 (was £69), ASOS|
How sweet is this little Darling number from ASOS? They're describing it as an evening dress; I think they're silly. Wear it all the time. Try not to spill, there's a good girl.
|NW3 fox dress, £71.20 (was £149), Hobbs|
FOXY! They're just not going away, are they? This vulpine beauty is wildly reduced and is the perfect shade of Crayola Periwinkle Blue. I might colour-code my wardrobe like a box of crayons.
|Panel tote bag, £20 (was £40), Oasis|
STAR BUY! A totes amazing tote bag from Oasis. Big enough to lug around your laptop, book, spare knickers (Oh. Only me?), and 26 black eyeliners - all while looking impeccably stylish and put-together. Not real leather, but when a bag's this lovely, I'll get over it.
|Alessandra bag, £13 (was £18), Accessorize|
BEST OF THE REST: I do love a red bag, no more so than in the run-up to C-day. This one's a particularly fetching shade of nosebleed, and for £13, can we refuse? NO.
You may have noticed (indeed, eagle-eyed readers will have spotted a mention in the second paragraph) that it's Black Friday. It's not even our thing! We don't celebrate Thanksgiving! We have nothing to be thankful for! However, Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving, when American stores - NOT SHOPS, IT'S AMERICA - have mega-sales as a kick-off to Christmas shopping) is a US tradition I can get behind. Here in the UK, aside from the Aldo event, we have these Black Friday flash sales to haemorrhage our money all over:
- 15% off black jewellery at Tatty Devine
- 20% off at Hotel Chocolat (enter code X00145 at the checkout)
- ASDA Black Friday weekend
- Amazon (obviously)
- Apple (phwoar!)
- Currys' 100-hour sale (the site was down at the time of writing. Good luck)
- Dorothy Perkins flash sale
Any others I've missed? Hit me up in the comments and share your sales successes!