So, we need to talk about shoe clips. No longer the exclusive domain of brides and opera-going ladies, these little wonders can transform a plain ol' pair of shoes in an instant. Observe these Coup de Foudre Pac-Man clips in action:
All kinds of awesome. They're by Parisian shoe clippers Holala and cost a mere €18 (£15), with shipping to the UK totalling a very reasonable €5 (£4). They've got lots of other delectable styles, but sadly many are sold out, so be quick if you want these!
I'm a long-standing Janine Basil fan, and these 8-bit bow shoe clips are doing nothing to silence my squeeing. Wearing these, I'll feel like Scott Pilgrim's going to come and sweep me off my feet at any moment.
Another bit of Janine-genius, these Pow & Bam shoe clips will unleash your inner superhero. Go and check out the rest of the range, too - I'm particularly partial to the sugar skulls.
If robots are more your thing, these button shoe clips from Sew Realicoul on Folksy are only £5! FIVE POUNDS! That's way cheaper than a new pair of shoes (except maybe from Primark, but they'll only last you half-an-hour), and they'll breathe new life into your existing pairs with their mega-robotitude.
I feel ready to look at moustaches again now that four months have passed since Movember. These cutesome little furry fellows, by designer Jordana Silver (she calls shoe clips 'bisous', and therefore I love her), are currently reduced to £29 from £34 on Fab.
Hello, yes, this is just the sort of
tack treasure I love. I'm 100% certain that I was a magpie or Liberace in a previous life (possibly an amalgamation of the two). These Eiffel Tower clips are £24 from Steptoe's Dog, and are, according to the blurb, "dating to circa 1999". Practically an antique, then.
Tiny cassette tapes! I miss tapes. Remember sitting poised next to the radio when the Evening Session was on, waiting to press record when a good song started? Oh, that split-second dither could mean either recording superfluous Steve Lamacq speak, or missing the opening bars of the song. Then there was the horror of opening the deck and pulling out miles of tape, and having to patiently wind it up using a pencil. The things we had to do to steal music in the 90s, kids! THOSE WERE THE DAYS. Relive the nostalgia courtesy of Cleo B and these cassette shoe clips, £45.
I like these Twiggy clips from Pretty Pink Toes, because if you unfocus your eyes, they look like a man in a sombrero with weird, bendy Go-Go-Gadget arms. They're £17.50.
Finally, because I believe in sharing my discoveries - both delightful and dreadful (hint: what's coming is definitely filed under DREADFUL) - I feel obliged to show you heel condoms. "When placing condom on heel, please be careful. Used shoe caps can break the condom." I can't even. Just go and have a look for yourself, while I come over all queasy at the name 'heel condom'. *shudder*