Nail files are pretty boring, aren't they? INCORRECT. There's nothing boring about hacking away at your fingers with a battleaxe, or smoothing a rough edge with a meat cleaver. Are you ready for your cut-throat manicure, madam?
Shelley Getzendanner's Ambiguous Armament nail files were designed in response to the US airport regulation that states you can carry a pair of nail scissors with a four-inch blade in your hand luggage, but not a snow globe:
"She checked her pockets, took off her shoes and emptied her water bottle. With military precision she lemmings her way through the scanner line. Collecting her bag she smirks. They can take my snow globes, but not those motherf*ckers."
I'm not sure I'd dare take one of these through airport security - I'd probably be arrested, knowing my luck - but I do like the idea of whipping one out on the bus to work. They make me laugh. Especially the saw, which pretty much sums up what I do to my fingernails every time I file them.