|Traffic People silk printed dress, £45 (was £99), ASOS|
Swoosh! I'm always excited when Traffic People dresses end up in the sale, because they're so darn pretty. This one is 100% silk, fully lined, and has gorgeous covered buttons. The voluminous top half means you can sweat to your heart's content in the summer heat (yep, I'm still holding out hope that summer heat is actually going to be A Thing this year) and no-one will be any the wiser. Oh, come on, don't pretend that you merely glow. We all know that's not true, and silk is not usually all that reliable at keeping sweaty secrets. But I think we can trust this dress. Even the model's giving her armpit the sly eye, and she seems quite happy with her findings.
|Trollied Dolly feather print dress, £32 (was £55), ASOS|
I love red dresses, but it can all go a bit lady of the night/Christmas party/lady of the night at a Christmas party if I'm not careful. The cutesy bird and feather print on this Trollied Dolly dress should go some way to mitigate my night-ladyness.
|Elephant pendant, £11.20 (was £14), Urban Outfitters|
ELEPHANT AHOY! Just be careful that the trunk doesn't get wedged in your cleavage. Those tusks could cause some damage.
|SNASH Peanut Gallery necklace, £50.30 (was £55.90), Fab|
I'm a sucker for jewellery with little people on it, because - somewhat predictably - I like to name them. And with this Peanut Gallery necklace, I've got SEVEN to name! Obviously, Derren, Hilary and Steven are already taken care of. What should I name the other four?
|Joeley2 sandals, £59 (was £100), Nine West|
Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached our destination: Pattern Central. I think my feet are going to like it here.
|Mandy sandals in green, £53.99 (was £59.99), Shellys|
SO MINTY FRESH! These are the sandals we need for skipping merrily around town this summer - plenty of strap action to support our feet, plus a not-too-flat heel to prevent aching arches. They're the perfect sightseeing sandal. Also: STRIPES. I love the green and white, but you'll also find red, black, and blue versions.
|Mina striped skirt, £30 (was £55), ASOS|
Womankind breathed a grateful sigh of relief when Sian rounded up the best dresses with pockets this week. I think we all agree that pockets are very handy (especially when your hands are in them - BOOM BOOM). I am of the opinion that almost every item of clothing is enhanced by side pockets, and skirts are no exception.
This Mina skirt from ASOS is ever so pretty - those dark stripes are navy, apparently, which bumps up its skirtovision points from me - and although the model is making it seem like she can only just squeeze the tip of her pinky into the pockets, I think she's just doing that modelly thing of trying to show us it's a pocket, without looking like she's had her hand amputated at the wrist.
And I don't know about you, but this tippy-toed right foot pose is the one I'm going to be adopting while waiting for buses, doing the photocopying, hanging around the water cooler, that sort of thing.
|Orla Kiely Lovebirds skirt, £46.40 (was £58), People Tree|
Go and have a closer look at the print on this Orla Kiely lovebirds skirt from People Tree - it's lots of little amorous peacocks (or it could be turkeys, but that doesn't seem quite so 'fashion', does it?). Either way, I like it very much. I'll admit I had concerns about the elasticated waistband - it's all a bit Cotton Traders catalogue circa. 1993 - but with a belt, it looks perfectly acceptable.
|Gravitational Pull brogues, £29.50 (was £89.99), Irregular Choice|
We need to talk about Behind the Candelabra. And by 'talk' I mean SHOUT LOUDLY ABOUT HOW AMAZING IT'S GOING TO BE (mainly I'll be responsible for the shouting part; you lot can just listen and nod).
Liberace and I have a lot in common, actually. I also had my boyfriend cosmetically remodelled into a younger version of me. I too have a $55,000 marble bath with gold swan taps. Not to mention the fact that I can't close my eyes after Rob Lowe performed surgery on me, either. But the really spooky coincidence is that I love glitter as much as Mr Showmanship himself. I KNOW. And I reckon he would've definitely loved these Irregular Choice Gravitational Pull brogues, which I imagine would be the sort of shoes he'd wear to a funeral, or for a low-key hike. Maybe even for a dip in the pool.
I've saved my favourite 'til last. These Beau shoes from Shellys come in four different colourways, but these mint beauties are calling my name. In fact, they're SCREAMING my name. All day and all night. The only thing that will shut them up is a jolly road trip to my house, in the back of a Royal Mail van. Och well. Needs must, I suppose.
So, what are you lot spending your pay cheques on this month? Don't say MOTs and new washing machines. I mean FUN STUFF.