Friday, 3 May 2013

Sluttery Sales Spy: Rob Ryan, Joy & Warehouse



An exciting Sales Spy first this week: a dog poo bag. Don't tell me you're not intrigued. 

IMPORTANT PUBLIC SHOE ANNOUNCEMENT

Buy one get one free at Upper Street shoes!

Time is a-ticking, kiddos, and you won't want to miss our spectacular Upper Street shoe extravaganza - yup, it's buy one pair, get one free for the first 200 new Domestic Sluttery-lovin' Upper Street customers, but the promo ends TODAY at 5pm, so don't dilly-dally!

We are ALL OVER Upper Street - designing your own shoes is top-class fun. So get to it! Brides-to-be - treat your bridesmaids to properly lovely shoes that a) aren't boring, and b) actually DO go with the dresses! Friends - grab each other (not like that) and split the cost - you'll have four happy feet and a happy bank manager. Win-win. Or just design both pairs for yourself. You know it's the right thing to do. 

Find out how to claim your buy one get one free deal and then hop on over to Upper Street and start designing!

THE DRESSES

Sequin skirt dress, £60 (was £80), Warehouse

13 days until The Great Gatsby, people! It's time to get your sequinned Deco fan print dress on! You might want to wash it at some point during those 13 days, though, lest your fellow cinema-goers find the smell off-putting.

Louche Stevie crepe dress, £25 (was £55), Joy

Ooh, I love a crepe dress, and this yellow is the colour of midday sunshine. Add a colour-contrast belt and some clashing heels and you'll be as pretty as a picture postcard. Probably one of those ones from Blackpool with Babs Windsor-style oo-er ladies on the front making jokes about lovely bunches of coconuts.

Yumi striped jersey dress, £30 (was £65), ASOS

I honestly can't remember whether or not I've shown you this striped Yumi dress before. I'm nothing if not consistent in my dress love, at least. But look at it! You even get a built-in bib!

THE BAGS

Jocasi leather Hattrick bag, £68 (was £120), ASOS

Sometimes the hardware puts me off a bag. It's so often too shiny and too new-looking. But this - this is wonderful. The clasp looks like a hinge from a big old creaky door (it might also look a little bit like the hinge on an ancient Roman shackle or something, but let's ignore that). The rest of Jocasi's Hattrick bag ain't half bad, either. I can almost smell it.  In a good way. This isn't the aforementioned dog poo bag.

Disaster Designs School Belle satchel, £37.99 (was £48), Chilly Lemon

When I grow up I would like a satchel that says When I Grow Up on it. Is this too twee? My Twee Radar is faulty - you might have noticed this - so I am unreliable in these situations.

Embroidered dog poo bag, £9 (was £12), Sew Lomax

I don't even have a dog, yet I still want this embroidered poo bag from Sew Lomax with every fibre of my being. For clarity, the poo does not go into the bag. Ew. No, you keep your special doggy-do plastic bags inside it, clip it to your dog's leash, and then swank about the park with that 'Oh yeah, I've got an embroidered poo bag' look on your smug face. 

I really want the poo to have eyes, like everyone's favourite Emoji. Or the worst horror film you can imagine: The Poo Has Eyes.

I've stopped talking about poo now. You can go back to eating your chocolate mousse.

THE JEWELLERY

Bonbi Forest cat face locket, £9.50 (was £19), Soma Gallery

Sinister Cat Alert! This is what happens when you cave in and let your cat use your mascara. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Me & Zena Dream Wheelz bike necklace, £15.50 (was £36), ASOS

Dude - dream wheelz indeed! Red! Sparkly! CND wheels! Can someone make this into a full-size bike for me, please?

Just Trade Tagua shark pendant, £20 (was £23.49), Fab

Hands up who read our excellent round-up of the best ethical fashion brands around? Well, here's another for your list: Just Trade's shark pendant is made from a tagua nut (don't try to eat the shark, please) by a fairly-paid craftsperson in Ecuador. I love him (not the craftsperson, the shark).

THE HOMEWARE

Qualy desk bunny, £15 (was £20), Urban Outfitters

I'm a big fan of anything Qualy makes, and this desk bunny is no exception. I find the fact that when you need to use the scissors, you are in fact rendering the rabbit completely earless a little bit creepy, but that just adds to its charm.

Rob Ryan Please Smell Us vase, £29 (was £34.95), Soma Gallery

Oh, I've wanted this Rob Ryan vase for AGES. Now it's under 30 quid at Soma Gallery, and I might just have to go for it. I can use the money I save to buy the most scented flowers I can find to fill it. And then incur the wrath of my hayfever-suffering beloved. ACHOO!

Squirrel money bank, £20 (was £40), Urban Outfitters

I'm not sure I can think of anything I want more right now than a bright yellow giant squirrel money bank. Except perhaps...

OFFICIALLY LICENSED VANILLA ICE ITEM OF THE WEEK

Ice Ice Baby ice cube tray, £7 (was £10), Urban Outfitters

This has happened, and I for one will be eternally grateful. But now, it's time to stop, collaborate and listen:



YOU'RE WELCOME.

1 comment:

  1. I learned how to say 'stop, cooperate and listen' in SIGN LANGUAGE yesterday. There is no sign for collaborate, apparently, but this is close. I'm buying the ice cube tray and having a sign language party. X Laura

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