Ah, my friends, gather round. Not you, the people playing frisbee outside, running about in the sunshine and laughing, drinking your Pimms and eating your picnics as the mighty orb of eternal power beams its burning fire at you. I'm talking to you, the people lying weeping on the floor inside, calling weakly for another ice lolly and a seventh fan as you check the long-range weather forecast to see when the heatwave will break, and wondering how much flights are to New Zealand.
I've rounded up some ways for you to stay cool over the next few weeks. Stay strong. It won't be long til you can put a cardigan on again.
Wild & Wolf water bottle, available for £9.95 from Bloomsbury & Co. It's covered in cheering slogans in awesome fonts, typography nerds.
chillow is from its name: a chilled pad that you lay on top of your normal pillow to help you sleep. It's like having the cool side of the pillow, all night long. Fill it with cold tap water once and let it absorb into the memory foam. It'll keep you cool all night, and magically be cold again by the time you go to bed. It's currently on offer at Heal's at £22 for a regular sized one, or £16 for a small.
Umbrella shaped ice lolly moulds: reminding you that soon, there'll be a thunderstorm to reduce the humidity. They're £3.19 for six from Captain Cooks. Check out Hazel's amazingly simple recipe to create your own beautiful fruit lollies.
Daydream's sleep mask is made of breathable fabric - no more waking up with a sweaty nose (just me?) - and comes with a gel insert you can freeze before slipping it into the mask. It gets rave reviews on Amazon - "you could LITERALLY look into the sun with this on and see NOTHING," trumpets one man. Buy yours for £8.10.
Origins Peace of Mind is meant for stress relief, but its cleansing minty smell feels like it's actually cooling you down. Dab a few drops onto the back of your neck, temples and earlobes, have a sit down, and breathe in deeply. It works like magic if you're stressed, headachy, or hot and bothered. At £13 it's not cheap, but lasts ages as you only need a tiny bit.