Friday, 22 November 2013

Sluttery Sales Spy: Lady Vintage, Hobbs & Topshop



Can I interest you in a nice hot cup of sales? Perhaps a bargain biscuit on the side? And would you like a thrifty tot of whisky in that? 

I'll put the kettle on then. Polly's on holiday. So is Sukey. They're breaking HR policy and will be punished. 

THE DRESSES

Tulip print dress, £15 (was £40), Lady Vintage
We do love a bit of Lady Vintage here at DS HQ, and is it any wonder when they're selling dresses like this gorgeous tulip print number for just £15? FIFTEEN POUNDS! What can you get for £15 these days? PRETTY MUCH NOTHING EXCEPT THIS DRESS.

Oria dress, £63.20 (was £159), Hobbs
Have we been transported back in time in a gingerbread TARDIS? For we appear to have ended up smack-bang in the middle of the Swinging Sixties. This nippy Oria dress from Hobbs comes in FIRE RED or lapis blue (the blue is more expensive at £88) and features not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR pockets. HANDY.

THE SHOES

Morris flats, £26 (was £35), ASOS
One word, and I'm caps-locking it: DAPPER. You'll be ready for anything in these Morris flats from ASOS. A round of golf. Solving a crime. Singing the blues. Loafing on a yacht. A crap game*.

* As in a game of craps, not simply a sub-standard game that hasn't reached your expectations. Although the shoes would be suitable footwear for both these scenarios. 

Logan platforms, £30 (was £78), Topshop
Yellow shoes, it has been scientifically proven by a team of independent researchers (my feet), go with almost everything. These Logan platforms from Topshop are the perfect shade of Colman's. One could say they really cut the mustard. If one were being enticed by condimental puns. Which one is.

THE CARDIGANS

Grace cardigan, £41.99 (was £59.99), Fever
Lacy collars are still one of my fave things. This Grace cardigan from Fever - who are running a 30% off knitwear spesharooney at the moment (ends Monday night, don't dilly-dally!) - is ringing all my cardibells. It'll make you look like you've forced your head through the most gigantic and special of snowflakes. Also, there's the merest hint of sparkle, which is a must at this time of year (tbh, it's a must for me - as it was for my spirit animal, Liberace - every day. Just call me Laurace. Or Liberaura).

Freak of Nature Pinhead cardigan, £33.50 (was £45), ASOS
As we all know, I'm a big fan of Walter Hunt's safety pin design. I'm also a big fan of this Freak of Nature Pinhead cardigan, which showcases Walter's work so wonderfully. Designer Vanessa Kortlang is, according to ASOS, "a designer by day and the lead singer in a rock band by night" whose work draws inspiration from the darker side of counterculture. 

We're very similar in that respect.

THE BAGS

Pieces Iben shopper, £45 (was £60), ASOS

Excuse me one moment while I roll on the floor in a state of pure, unadulterated bag swoonage (ROFSPUBS is the internet acronym, in case you need to use it, which I'm certain you will once you too have picked yourself up from the floor and dusted yourself down).

Okay - let's talk. This bag. This bag is just... SO GOOD. A definite step up - perhaps even a whole flight of stairs up - from the Tesco carrier bag I'm currently using to transport my lunch, book, make-up bag, Hilary and Derren, assorted chargers, and an inexplicable ruler. It's leather (this bag, not the Tesco carrier bag. Although sign me up for one of those when they happen), it has a zip (important for when my bag falls off the bus seat), and it looks posh. I'm getting it.

Grab bag, £30 (was £40), ASOS
What ever would I do with a bag this small? Probably just gaze at it, occasionally opening it up and placing a small piece of fruit inside. I think we're talking a small Honeydew melon, max. So in that regard, this tan grab bag is actually very useful, as I am often looking for ways to transport a small Honeydew melon. Now I have my solution. Thanks, ASOS. Going fruit-niche was a gamble, but it paid off. 

THREE DIMENSIONAL FRUIT JUMPER OF THE WEEK

3D cherries jumper, £29 (was £42), ASOS
This space is usually reserved for things I wish to mildly and jovially take the piss out of (don't look so shocked, you at the back). This week, however, my internal piss-take jury is out. There have been a few problems with the jury in the past, I'll admit - one talked to the Press, another was swigging from a hipflask during a trial, a third copped off with a crim in the courtroom. But now, well, they just can't agree on whether I love or hate this 3D cherries jumper from ASOS

It's ridiculous, for sure, but I like ridiculous. Can you help me decide? Be honest, in a soft and cuddly way. 

8 comments:

  1. YES to the cherries jumper. It's fabulous.

    But the jeans that the lady is sporting with those nice mustard shoes. They need burning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay! I might buy it.

      The jeans are the work of the Devil. Hideous in every way.

      Delete
    2. UPDATE: I just bought it.

      Delete
  2. Liberaura is so pleasing to say. That cardigan gets five Liberace piano rings out of five. Question: could I wear a cape with it? I like the idea of removing the first cape and still having shoulder decoration.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm of the opinion that capes should be our compulsory national uniform, so ABSOLUTELY YES.

      Delete
  3. The link to the dress isn't working, did they sell out already?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it has sold out, Anon! Woe of woes. Do have a look at the rest of Lady V's dresses though - there's a magnificent choice!

      Delete
  4. Sorry but that safety print? Looks like graffiti of male appendages....

    ReplyDelete

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