Friday, 10 January 2014

Sluttery Sales Spy: Kate Kanzier, Warehouse & Sugarhill Boutique



I am drowning in sales: send help.

THE DRESSES

Traffic People Anchors & Stripes dress, £55 (was £109), ASOS

Here's my thought process when I first saw this Traffic People dress:

"No."
"I don't like it."
"HOLD UP. Maybe I do."
"Do I?"
"Yes."
"Oh look. It's got Kate Moss's tattoo all over it."
"Why is it called Anchor & Stripes? WHERE ARE THE STRIPES?"
"I don't care. I love it."


Can you see stripes? I can't see stripes. Maybe I have stripe blindness. 

Collar dress, £30 (was £65),Warehouse
Embellished collar and pockets? Warehouse, you are spoiling us. This is a suitable amount of sparkle for January, when we run the risk of looking like we still think it's Christmas if we go too far up the Liberace Scale. Normal Michael 'n' Matt service can resume in February, when I'll be showering in glitter every day AS PER.

(Can we talk about why Michael Douglas didn't get nominated for a BAFTA for Behind The Candelabra?)

THE KNITWEAR

Loved Up cardigan, £29 (was £48), Sugarhill Boutique
I do love an elbow patch. I am particularly enjoying these ones, which have a suitably homespun feel - like you were just having a rummage through your car's glovebox one day and found an old chamois leather and thought, "HEY! Why don't I cut this up into the shape of a loveheart and stick it on my elbow?".

Don't tell me you've never done that.

Louche Fletcher jumper, £20 (was £45), Joy
It's still winter, which means we're allowed to wear vaguely Fair Isle-ish knits for a goodly long while yet. This one from Joy may be depicting tiny rockets. Or are they oil rigs? The Eiffel Tower, perhaps? 

No. Quite clearly it is the Very Dangerous Electricity Pylon from that public information film that scared us all senseless in the 80s (I still give them a wide berth, even when I'm not flying my kite with wild abandon). Climbing pylons can kill, kiddos. Wear them on your jumper instead.

THE SHOES

Izzie brogues, £15 (was £25), Kate Kanzier
Kate Kanzier, already a bargainous source of shoes, is having a whopping sale. WHAT THIS MEANS FOR US: shoes like these Izzie brogues are so cheap, it would be COMPLETELY STUPID not to go and have a look around. Some pairs are just £5! That's absurd! You'll probably eat £5 for your lunch today. (PRO TIP: spend it on food before attempting to eat it. That pesky bit of metal through the middle will get stuck in your teeth otherwise.)

Poste Mistress Sofia peeptoes, £49.50 (was £110), Office
Rose gold is my favourite thing right now. I can't afford ACTUAL rose gold, but I can afford these Poste Mistress peeptoes from Office, which are the next best thing to the real deal. ALSO: pink sole. 

THE TOPS

Music To My Ears top, £25 (was £35), Sugarhill Boutique
Fearne Cotton looks good as a redhead, doesn't she? Also of note: this Music To My Ears top from Sugarhill Boutique, which has a tenner off and is covered in cute little gramophones. They're pumping out tiny hearts. Love is in the air.

Dino tee, £9.50 (was £16), ASOS
ASOS is describing this as a 'scary dino'. The model is quite clearly thinking, "UH, PLEASE! He's not scary; I once saw a T-Rex IRL!". She is right, although I think she's lying about the T-Rex, because Marc Bolan died in 1977 and she's only about 12. 

TELL ME EVERYTHING. What have you been buying, what have you been bought? I've missed you.

1 comment:

  1. I'VE MISSED YOU TOO, LAURA B! I've bought nothing in your absence. I've just been wandering around crying, touching clothes in the shops and feeling confused and overwhelmed.

    No idea why Michael Douglas wasn't nominated for a BAFTA. It's a bloody crime.

    ReplyDelete

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