It's March, it's springtime, and that means - you guessed it - we need to get our floral on, no matter what Miranda Priestly has to say on the matter:
Sod off, Miranda. Here are spring's best florals, from the wearable to the edible, with a lot in between.
For those of us (me) who think we need to go big or go home when it comes to florals, this Ted Baker Tangled Floral dress is petalled perfection. There sure is a lot going on here. Some sort of poisonous spider might appear from under that pleat at any moment. (I'm trying to scare you with the spider stuff, to distract you from the fact that the dress is £179. I'm sorry.)
One of the best things about flowers is that butterflies like them. This 50s-style butterfly dress from Lady V is £50 and swarming with the little flappers. And some flowers too, of course, because otherwise it wouldn't have made the floral cut.
A little-known fact about butterflies: TV's Taggart (RIP) used to breed them.
A little-known fact about TV's Taggart: he once visited my school in a helicopter. I still don't know why.
Florals don't, of course, have to be a literal representation of our gardens. Cast the flower prints aside for a moment and embrace a little embroidery. This skater dress from ASOS is £75-worth of awesome.
And what if you're the kind of girl who right now is shouting at her computer screen, "LAURA! Stop it with all these colourful flowers! I might - just might - be able to handle a daisy on a black background AND NOTHING MORE". Well, to you I say: here's a daisy print dress from Joy you might like. Just might.
It may be spring, but it's still darn chilly. Floral jumpers don't have to be grannyish or dowdy, oh no. I love an elbow patch, and this daisy delight is particularly sunny and joyous. It also comes in black, but you were only allowed one black item, and you've had it.
Look! You get to stick your head through the middle of the flower! You'll be like a real-life Little Weed out of Bill and Ben, and you'll look really pretty while you're at it.
Like flowers but don't want to wear a lot of them? These Ted Baker That's A Wrap nail polish strips are a quick and easy way to add a little bloom to your everyday. I've used these, and can vouch for them being the sort of thing a clumsy nightmare of a person (hi guys!) can cope with unaided. They're £7.50, and have the added bonus of needing no drying time whatsoever - no more manicure disasters!
MAC knows that floral-inspired colours needn't be pastel pinks and washed-out mauves. They've launched a new collection, A Fantasy of Flowers, just in time for spring. This Dreaming Dahlia lipstick is a gorgeous orangey-red, ready and waiting to pep up your pout. Fluidline gel liner is one of the best around, so give it a go in this limited edition Sassy Moss colourway - so fresh and fabulous. Finally, fake a brisk-walk-round-the-park flush with Mineralize blush in Azalea in the Afternoon, a shimmery peachy-pink.
Oh, Alex Monroe. I want everything from your Floral Fayre collection, despite the fact that the word fayre is bringing me out in a rash. My favourite piece is this necklace, which at £165 is way out of my financial league, but something to add to my 'One Day I Will Be Able To Afford These Things' list (I really need to find a catchier name for that list).
In March, the cherry blossom will start flowering in Japan, and I would very much like to be there to see it. I'm not, sadly, so I'll make do with Tatty Devine's cherry blossom necklace, £50. Cheaper than a flight to Tokyo, but with fewer cool Hello Kitty things and karaoke bars.
It's inevitable that our newly-sprung spring blooms are going to be rained on. A lot. Jo Malone's London Rain collection has turned that into a positive, and girl, it smells amazing. Rain & Angelica is inspired by a London park, but don't worry, just the good bits and none of the porn-mags-in-bushes-bits.
Daffs are the quintessential spring flower. They might even be my favourite flower, ever. The scented ones are a dream, and have been kindly captured and waxified here by Diptyque, fine purveyors of all the smells. Their Jonquille candle is one of the most natural daffy scents I know - like a just-picked bunch! It's £40, but lasts for ages, I promise.
I've already written in a swoonsome fashion about Crosley's floral turntables, but I couldn't resist popping one in here for our repeat appreciation. I still want one so badly. Sigh.
I couldn't write about florals without checking out what Cath Kidston's got going on. Turns out she's got a painterly roses thing going on, including this beautiful mixing bowl, £25. Use it to whip up Laura H's Arabian Nights cake for some spongy, rosy deliciousness.
FOOD & DRINK
Rose and violet creams are the best chocolates, FACT. When they team up with lavender, elderflower, manuka, and honey, AND are shaped like little flowers, we have the most wonderful box of chocolates known to woman. Demarquette's English Garden caramel chocolates are like eating your flower bed, without all the pesky soil and snails and stuff. They're £19.75.
I had to feature this poppy liqueur, because I am SO INTRIGUED. One of us must try it immediately and report back. Just don't go all Thomas de Quincey on us, please.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST... ACTUAL FLOWERS!
The Real Flower Company sells bouquets so amazingly gorgeous, your eyes will barely be able to cope. Also they have a thing for photographing their flowers on books, which I approve of wholeheartedly. One snagette - with great beauty comes great, eye-watering prices. The hyacinth, narcissi and rose bouquet above is £60, but some whoppers are as much as £190! Go and have a look at their floral offerings, though, because they're a treat indeed. And for more blooming brilliant, um, blooms, check out the National Gallery's artistic bouquets.
And now I need to know - what's your favourite flower?