Thursday, 1 May 2014

Don't Be A Drag, Just Be A Queen

The internets has suddenly caught on to the wonder that is RuPaul's Drag Race. Honey, please - I've been watching those queens WERK IT for years. If you weren't there for Tyra Sanchez, don't even look at me. RuPaul has created the greatest talent search show by looking for the next drag superstar. It's much less bitchy than Next Top Model, and wonderfully OTT in every way. For example, here is RuPaul in a casual outfit, after setting the contestants a challenge:


I've learned that to be the most fabulous queen you can, you need certain things. So if you're ready, then start - your - engines.

1) The ability to throw shade, i.e. to dismiss someone with a roll of the eye or a casual put-down. For instance, this phrase:


Allow me to explain. If some tool* is all up in your grill*, you can own*** them with the phrase "Bitch, please."****

* fool
** being rather annoying
*** make a fool of them
**** "I simply cannot believe your audacity."

A drag queen doesn't take any nonsense. Let people know with this Bitch, Please t-shirt from Komiktee's official eBay outlet. It's £12.95 including postage.

2) Big hair. Remember: the bigger the hair, the closer to God.


Get enormous hair without hours of styling / ruined knotted hair with Backcomb in a Bottle by Umberto Giannini. Spray it onto your roots, zhoosh it up with your fingers and ta-da - big hair. It's £6 from Boots and is perfect for boosting fine or flat hair.

3) The ability to werk it.


To explain "WERK!", let us consult Urban Dictionary. To "werk it" is to "do something that is not glamorous, and make it glamorous." One might do this by wearing one's biggest heels to pay a library fine, putting the bins out in a full face of make-up, or wearing this WERK! necklace to work. It's £35 for a lasercut acrylic version covered in crystals, or £19.99 for a silver mirrored version, both by Tequila Star.

4) Fancy shoes


You were expecting heels, right? Well, these Irregular Choice Miss Low shoes are perfect for those of us who want sequins but can't manage big heels. They've got sparkles, a corsage, and a 4cm heel. They're £68 and exclusive to Schuh.

5) All your make-up, all the time. My friend and I play Pageant Face, where you have to make up your face like you're a 10-year-old gunning for victory in Little Miss Vegas. Channel this vibe for your best drag face. Tip: Vaseline on the teeth means your smile won't drop.


Set your make-up gun to drag with a Dragstar Superhero course from Illamasqua. You'll have two hours to find your inner creativity and learn about statement brows, feature exaggeration, lash effects and other techniques to "take you to the extremes of unearthly glamour". It's £50 which includes an Illamasqua product, and would make for an amazing hen do. If you're not near London, go and explore their online shop - incredibly high quality make-up in bold colours and flawless finishes.

And how do you get your face to stay on? A spritz of Urban Decay All Nighter make-up setting spray from Debenhams. Your face won't melt no matter how hot it gets - it'll stay perfect all night. Witchcraft.

So off you go, ladies and gents. I'll leave the final word to Ru:


4 comments:

  1. Pixiwoo also did a brilliant drag queen makeup tutorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7cE39_R9mo

    But yes, love RuPaul's Drag Race. I'm currently working my way through it on Netflix (on season 4 at the moment. Love Sharon, love Chad, want to smack Willam into the middle of next week) and it might be the first TV series in a long time that I actually finish...

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  2. Um, that Drag Superstar course looks like the most AMAZING thing ever! I am utterly fuming that season 6 isn't yet on Netflix. I need my drag fix. "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else!"

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  3. Madame Jojo's in London actually do a Drag Race Season 6 screening every wednesday. It's the most fabulous night of the week :P http://www.madamejojos.com/club_nights/ru_pauls_drag_race/about/

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  4. This post makes me so unbelievably happy. My days off are always spent watching through on netflix, crying with Ongina, rolling my eyes at Tatiana and genuinely loving all the bitchiness. Cannot wait to get to catch up with Willam on sunday. I feel bad as all those drag queens look amazing, and well I'm a bit of a failure as a woman. Totally going to invest in that backcomb in a bottle though, would be a good start!

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