Friday, 18 July 2014

Sluttery Sales Spy: Accessorize, Mango & Sugarhill Boutique



This week featuring a squirrel knob. TEE HEE. 

THE DRESSES

Safari dress, £40 (was £65), Cath Kidston

Welcome to Cath Kidston's safari: where lions, zebras, giraffes and elephants all stand together, having a wee blether, perhaps even partaking of some tea and home-made cake (rumour has it that one of the wildebeest is entering The Great Serengeti Bake Off next year). The jeep stops and a lion comes right up to tell the driver all about his day - bit of a queue at the post office, apparently, but he finally managed to get his new passport forms.

Yup - we're all friends here. Although do we think the zebras are due a pattern refresh? I'm thinking polka dots.

Burrito dress, £45 (was £65), Sugarhill Boutique

Sugarhill Boutique continues to have the loveliest prints and patterns around. This Burrito dress is covered in little donkeys, as the name suggests, and not tortillas filled with mince and beans, as the name also suggests. You picked the right translation there, design team. Do feel free to accessorise with your own burrito stains, though.

THE SUNGLASSES

Tortoiseshell eyelash sunglasses, £37.50 (was £125), Tatty Devine

Guys. GUYS. Tatty Devine's amazing eyelash sunglasses are down from £125 to just £37.50! At that price, I'll still cry when I inevitably lose them, but I won't cry £125-worth of tears and have to be hospitalised for dehydration.

Jeepers Peepers Diana sunglasses, £10 (was £18), ASOS

In my head, these sunglasses will make me look like a glamorous Hollywood star, possibly of Latin American descent.

In reality, they're going to make me look like the love child of Deirdre Barlow and Victoria Beckham, and I'll probably keep putting them on upside-down. Fuck it, I'm going to buy them anyway.

THE BAGS

Saffy bag, £17.50 (was £35), Accessorize

Oh, I KNOW that a cream-coloured bag is just asking for trouble. I KNOW that I'll scuff it against a pebbledash wall that appears out of nowhere. I KNOW that my new jeans will give the entire back panel a weird blue haze. And I KNOW that there will be a biro incident of some kind. But I'm sort of in the mood for pale and ladylike, and that doesn't happen very often. I feel that I must act now, and deal with the consequences.

Pebbled bag, £29.99 (was £59.99), Mango

When a dainty bag simply won't do - and as you know, I have some pretty hefty precious cargo to transport - I suggest buying one the size of your torso. This seems a good rule of thumb - a rule of torso, if you like. Anything bigger and you risk people thinking you're carrying around a leather sleeping bag.

THE JEWELLERY

N2 by Les Néréides Alice locket, £40 (was £78), ASOS

Les Néréides is my favourite jewellery brand - everything has a soupçon of craziness. This Alice in Wonderland locket opens up to reveal Alice, the White Rabbit, his watch, and who knows what else that we can't see from this angle. There are even a few playing cards, just in case you were in any doubt about the overall theme. Isn't it the cutest? There are a few more lockets in the sale - I'm quite fond of the church and wedding one, too.

Calista cat ring, £6 (was £12), Accessorize

I'm pretty sure Accessorize used this as a fox ring last year, but apparently any fox can be turned into a cat if you just stick its diamanté nose further up and give it a squiggly mouth. WHO KNEW? Perhaps you shouldn't experiment on your local foxes just yet, though. I need to source some oversized diamantés first. 

SQUIRREL KNOB OF THE WEEK

Squirrel knob, £1.95 (was £6), Anthropologie

Warning: this squirrel knob may contain nuts. It's like The Great British Bake Off all over again, isn't it? I bet this doesn't happen in the Serengeti. 

5 comments:

  1. Laura, Laura, can we talk about the church wedding necklace? The church locket bit is LOVELY. But the wedding figures have no faces! It's like they're wedding ghosts! Are they supposed to be wedding ghosts? Is it Game of Thrones themed?

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  2. I HAVE THE CAT RING IT IS THE BEST RING EVER.

    Seriously, people look at it in that double take sort of way that shows they're wondering if you are actually preposterously wealthy and bought it from a properly extrav shop.

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  3. Been waiting for the Tatty sunglasses to go down for aaaaages! Woo! Vx

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  4. Am I the only one who fell about laughing over 'squirrel knob'?? Maybe I'm just childish... ;)

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  5. I'm still laughing!

    ReplyDelete

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